So, i'm sitting here, taking a study break and listening to Cait's roomate discussing her sort of boyfriend (very looooonnnggg complicated story). I'm not too sure what I think....am trying to be polite. She insists she's found a soul mate, and here I am waiting patiently. I don't have to cut down other girls to make myself feel better, and it's hard to listen to some of our conversations. I actually tune her out by daydreaming about being back in Oxford or down in Virginia with my close friends, where conversations were mostly enlifting, encouraging and not bitter, paranoid, obssessive, anxious or full of drama. AAaahhh...bliss....Virginia sun, Woods Creek trail....our tree....the park next to Linacre, rainy days in Oxford....cricket!

I'm waiting for a chance to tell her I'm uncomfortable when she talks about my sister or compares the two of us. I don't want to hear about past arguments concerning Maggie, apartment finances, etc. It's too hard...i mean, this is my twin here.... ; ) We both can cut each other down (me and Cait), but no one better mess with the other. : )

Well, that part above is from 16 Oct....today is 19 Oct...and I'll finish this post.....

I'm doing alright, i finished my way through a big study book for the Advanced Bio GRE and the test is 4 Nov, and I'm going down to Virginia to take it, and will stay with my best friend. It should be a fun time, and good to see her again. I promised to bake brownies! : ) The things with Cait's roomate are still awkward, but I'm hoping I'll get a chance to set things straight, and get a word in edgewise.

I made a low-fat (who would've thought....) cake with Cait's friend Michelle today. We made a carrot cake, with carrots, whole wheat flour, pineapple, applesauce, and the bane of my existence: splenda (YUCK!!!!)....but it actually came out incredibly moist and fruity. The frosting however, was a disaster and is just this cream cheese sticky glaze.....but hey...it's edible, so i'm not complaining too much : ) Next time though, no trimmed down desserts for me....sugar, fat, cream, oil, butter all the way!!!!!! : ) I've been studying in a little coffee shoppe with Michelle and it's been so helpful (first to get out of Cait's apartment, and second Michelle knows genetics!). So, over chai tea I've studied, embryology, development, ecology, evolution, physiology, etc.

I need to have patience for the long term....right now I don't see the big picture.....I just see myself, living with my sis, trying to get back into school, looking for jobs...SINGLE!! (put that in caps for my Dad, who thinks I will never get married...) hahaha....well, I have faith, that there's someone special out there for me....and I am learning to be patient....because when the time comes, it will be worth all the heart ache and waiting. But I need patience to trust that my future will happen the way it is supposed to....before I could see what was ahead in a way: college for 4 years, Oxford...etc. Now, it's all unknown.....and while it's exciting to think about 'the great adventure', i find myself scared to take my first blind steps....but forge ahead I must.

Chocolate.....smile.....that's the ticket.....

Sorry, under the influence of the chocolate factory...the Reese's is just across the road, and the Hershey's is less than 5 min's away.....sweeettttt! but also, deadly!!!! I have over consumed chocolate...is that possible? I used to think not....but now...i believe. : )

I am lonesome for my friends, but I trust that I'll see them again. Sooner than later. God has a way of sticking us all together! Well, for now, I will sign off.....this weekend holds: full course turkey dinner, lonely weekend nights, drama beyond belief, gossip galore (which I will try desperately to ignore), cleaning frenzy, and.... and just maybe...some fun. : ) Stay tuned......